Homage to you, Mastress of the House.
Over the past three years, I have developed a deep and intense relationship with Nebt-Het. My love for her is evident in how I embraced the duty to tell her story and speak with her voice. She is my mother, and I have matured under her watchful gaze, and while this phase of my evolution is over, my love for and connection to her shall never end.
In this time I've learned that Nebt-Het is ambitious and determined. She is someone who wants to feel appreciated and be seen. Nebt-Het has suffered from years of being in the shadows, being her sister's double, being in the background. She is more than just the twin of Auset, more than just the mother of Anpu, more than just the wife of Setesh. She is a woman unto herself.
Any of you who are the youngest in your family might relate to this. I recently went through family photos and found an abundance of baby pictures of me, the eldest child, and very few of my youngest brother. With three older siblings I can understand why my parents were less impressed by spit-up and diapers by the time he came along, but the consequences of this can make a person feel ignored, forgotten. Just as a wife may suffer by feeling as if her husband no longer appreciates her housekeeping, her cooking, her contribution. Just as a mother may long for the days when people laud her career achievements, or wish that she could spend time indulging in other passions, the ones set aside in favor of her children.
This is a part of the dilemma of Nebt-Het: accepting what she has while wanting something more. Nebt-Het understands that who she is and what she does is essential, just like every wife does, just like every mother. But every person wants to know that other people see their contributions as essential. Every person wants to be embraced and accepted and appreciated by someone else.
Mastering the house is about embracing and accepting and appreciating yourself, and not waiting for someone else to see you, complete you, celebrate you. Nebt-Het had to grow into seeing herself, as do we, and because we are insecure human beings, we may feel completely secure and strong today and fall apart at the seams tomorrow. And that's okay, as long as we remain determined to put and keep ourselves back together. When you master yourself, you do not allow a slip to become a tumble. You recover quickly and respond with wisdom; you root out the source of your insecurity and expose the false evidence appearing real. When you are self-mastered, you understand your emotions but you refused to be ruled by them. When you are self-mastered, you choose how to respond.
Nebt-Het being in the shadows is not the best thing for our personal self-development. If we are to live and act from a place of divinity, it is essential that we master ourselves: our fears, our insecurities, our lust and greed and jealousy. Our demons. Our ambitions. Our entire selves. We must have self-control if we are to create the lives that we want. We must have dominion over ourselves before we can have dominion over the world around us. Nebt-Het has taught me that we can have great power at our disposal and be unable to access or appreciate it if we lack the discipline to think, speak, and act with wisdom.
Learn from the example of Nebt-Het and strive to master yourself. Strive to know your deepest fears and your deepest desires. Consider what you must do to put the former aside and make the latter a priority. Live honestly, not just with others, but with yourself. And understand that no matter what your place is in this world, all contributions, gifts, and positions are necessary to the creation and maintenance of harmonious balance.
See yourself clearly, even when no one else sees you at all.